ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Screwed.edu
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
