You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
