Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
