My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
