Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
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He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
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My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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