im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
