just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
