apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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