She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
