I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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