Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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