she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
