Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
