ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
