Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
