She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
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