Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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