yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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