I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You are the jesus of drinking
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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