R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
