I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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