Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
