JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
