Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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