He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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