But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize