I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
you will always have a special place in my vag
This beer is not sobering me up at all
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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