Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize