the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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