i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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