the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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