Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
The feeling are messing with the penis
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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