Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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