I didn't shave. On purpose
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
