Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize