It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I intend to get homeless drunk
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
