It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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