you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
