just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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