Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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