Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
