I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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