So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
