belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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