Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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