Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
