One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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