Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
