I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
