just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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