worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
