i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
