I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
