I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
