Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize