I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
