I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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