There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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