what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
