dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize