He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Alive.
So much puke
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
