why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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