How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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