I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
